This is a guest post from my wife. It’s a response to the debate on Erica’s recent article about outsourcing life.
J.D. and I have been employing an independent housekeeper for about 10 years. The one who’s been working for us for almost five years, Michele, is fantastic and we feel lucky to have her. (We found her through Craigslist). Housecleaning is her full-time job.
It took us some time to get over our self-imposed barrier of hiring some help with the house chores. I’m not lazy, and it struck me as a weak, self-indulgent thing to do. But, as J.D. freely admits, he’s a slob. We’d fight over the mess in the house, and time and time again would try to institute a “system” to keep it clean, only to fail once more and descend into arguments. With both of us working full-time, we wanted to spend our time at home in other ways than cleaning.
Still, I felt guilty for paying someone else to do work I didn’t want to do myself. I admit it: It feels weird to pay someone to clean your toilets! And I felt guilty for even being able to afford considering “outsourcing” the housework. After all, anyone can do housework, right?
The “housekeeper dilemma”
Over time, however, I’ve realized that my guilt is misplaced. (Although it still lingers a bit.) Why would I feel any guiltier paying someone for cleaning my house than cooking my food at a restaurant, or growing my food at a farmer’s market, or knitting a hat I buy at a cute store? I can cook; I can grow food; I can knit. But often I choose to pay someone else to do these tasks rather than do them myself. Why does the housekeeper, then, represent such obscene luxury in our debates on the complexities of social economics?
Primarily, I believe it’s because we see our housekeeper face-to-face. We invite her into our homes and our lives. We see the struggles in her life (she’s a divorced mom of two teenagers) in a way that is invisible for the many other jobs we outsource. The agricultural worker doesn’t deliver pears to my door, nor the factory worker bring inexpensive mass-produced products to personally stock the shelves in my pantry. I don’t directly pay the garbage-collector, the office custodian, or the guy who sweeps out the theater after J.D. spills all his candy on the floor. For these things, there’s an insulating layer of “a company” between the producer of the goods and the consumer. With housekeeping, no such dividing layer exists.
Professional housecleaning, like agricultural harvesting, child-care, and many service-industry jobs, is a job that is frequently performed by people without much higher education or unique skills. (Or they are choosing not to use that education or skills, or perhaps there is no market for their particular talents.) These jobs are typically low-paying, but that doesn’t mean the people who perform these jobs are unworthy. I’m all for a living wage, but the more specialized and rare your skills, the higher salary you can command if there is a market for those skills. It’s basic supply and demand. And just because a job doesn’t pay well does not mean that job is demeaning.
I won’t pretend my housekeeper has such a “passion for cleaning houses” that it led her to this profession, but she’s a survivor, and has chosen housecleaning for many personal reasons, not the least of which are the flexibility in her schedule, the freedom to choose the clients she serves, and the chance to be her own boss. The trade-offs include a physically-demanding job, inconsistent income, and a relatively low salary (due to not working 40 hours a week, although at $22, her hourly wage is decent).
I think another part of the “housekeeper dilemma” is the historical disregard for the value of work that has been “women’s work”, and the expectation that if there is a woman is in the house, she shouldn’t need to pay another person (usually another woman) to do the tasks she is supposed to be doing herself. If someone is cleaning a house that’s not their own, they must feel degraded, right? But any work can be found degrading, sustaining, fulfilling or mind-numbing. I doubt that those of you who clean your own toilets feel degraded by the process.
What matters is not so much the type of work but the working conditions and the self-respect possible for the worker. Michele knows her work is valued in our home. The days I come home after Michele has been at my house are like a treat to me! And she knows it — because I tell her. I’d gladly give up other expenses before I cut Michele out of my budget. For her part, I’m pretty sure she values having us a steady clients who always have the check ready on the table and share the garden produce in the summer months.
Everyone outsources
The popular opinion is that anyone can do housework (so you shouldn’t outsource this labor), but does that mean that everyone has to? As GRS readers know, we grow and preserve much of our own food. That’s something I truly enjoy. Housework? Not so much. Someone else might think canning applesauce in a hot kitchen on a 90-degree day sounds like pure drudgery; they’ll outsource the task and get their jar of applesauce at the store. No one gives that a second thought, but there are a lot of outsourced laborers between the apple tree and that jar. Me? I’ll outsource cleaning the kitchen instead.
In my mind, the bottom line is that everyone outsources. Unless you grow, harvest, and process your own food, make your own clothes from fibers you’ve produced and spun, build your own house, create your own power sources, and are completely independent from the long chain of people in the manufacturing economy, you’re paying other people to do that which you do not want to do, don’t want to make time to do, or lack the skills to do. In the modern word, specialization is the norm.
So, do what work works for you — I’ll be in the garden.
J.D.: What sorts of people hire a housekeeper?
Michele: All sorts of people. Students, new mothers, women with careers. It’s usually women, although lately a lot of men have been responding to my Craigslist ad. That kind of makes me a little nervous sometimes, but so far it’s been fine. I think they’re just trying to give their wives a break.
J.D.: Should people feel guilty about hiring a housekeeper?
Michele: No way! Why should they? I had a housekeeper for a while. I had so much going on that I didn’t have the time to clean like I wanted, and I could afford it then. I’d do it again if I could. But I guess some people do feel guilty — especially women. There’s this stigma: People think women should be able to do it all — raise the kids, go to work, clean the house — but they can’t. A housekeeper helps relieve some of that stress. So I guess women feel guilty because they feel like they’re not doing everything they should. But bachelors that hire me? They don’t have one ounce of guilt! I think once people get past the guilt, they love having a housekeeper. It’s just a matter of where your priorities are and what you can afford.
J.D.: How do you feel about cleaning houses? Is this what you see yourself doing the rest of your life?
Michele: Well, my passion is working with animals. I’d love to work in an animal shelter. And I’m a trained doula, but I just haven’t done anything with that. So, I clean. But that’s what I do anyhow. It’s just what I do. It’s in my blood. My dad owned a janitorial service. My sister cleans houses. My mother cleans houses. I clean houses. I like it. I like being my own boss. I like the variety, going from house to house, and I like the flexibility. Last time, you let me adjust my schedule so I could take my son to get a tattoo, for example. I couldn’t do that if I wasn’t my own boss. And it’s pretty good money — if I can fill up my days, which is harder with the economy like it is. But I enjoy it.
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Maybe I’m weird, but as soon as my husband and I weren’t broke college kids anymore, we hired Jacquie. She cleaned our apartment and now cleans the bottom floor of our house every two weeks for $45. I never felt guilty and I know my husband never does…why does anybody need to justify a “fun” expense if they can afford it?
I know Jacquie appreciates the work, especially since the economy has hurt her business. I appreciate my job even though I’m obviously doing grunt work the company’s owner doesn’t want to do…I doubt he ever feels guilty either.
As soon as we bought a house, we also hired a biweekly lawn service for $25.
No, we don’t work crazy schedules or have anything more important to do…we just don’t like mopping, dusting, cleaning the bathroom, or lawn care. I rather watch tv or hang out with friends…wouldn’t anyone?
Money is to be spent to survive and saved for future survival. Once those two criteria are met, we think money is to be used to make life more enjoyable. It’s not like you can take it with you, right?
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The worst thing for me about having a house cleaner was feeling like:
1) I had to tell them what to do (dust the ceiling in the bathroom! I can *SEE* cobwebs)
2) I had to pick up lots of little things to get the big things cleaned. This caused me lots of stress in my (neat) home with two young boys
3) I had to get out of the way (I work at home) and if the kids were home I had to keep them out of the way
4) I needed to pee! We only have one bathroom, so if they were cleaning it I was out of luck!
5) I couldn’t make dinner while they were there and it was hard to get a schedule that didn’t impact this.
Personally I found having house cleaners rather more stressful. I pick up all the time anyway because of the kids, so it just didn’t work for me. Of course I can’t fit it in my budget right now either, so maybe some of this is rationalization (except needing to pee, that really sucked).
On the other hand it really pissed me off that my mother in law thought we were having them to “keep up” with my sisters. (Um, not even in the realm of desirable or possible.) My husband loved having the housekeepers, but he wasn’t home to deal with my issues).
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I love this post–it perfectly captures the struggle I’ve always with hiring a house cleaner. Just because I hate to clean doesn’t mean I can’t do it myself, right? Well, I agree that it’s definitely worth the money to have someone else do it for me so I can spend my time doing things I enjoy!
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That’s a thought provoking article. I had a housekeeper myself at one time but I don’t think I’ll revisit having another in the future. When I had the housekeeper, I also had a large house full of stuff and kids and I was just too busy working to clean. However, since I got rid of all the stuff and the kids (to universities) cleaning my almost 3000 sq ft emptier house is far easier.
As a side note, I am friends with someone who had to resort to house cleaning a couple of years ago when their job evaporated on the financial crisis stove. To say that it was difficult for her is an understatement. She went from working in a fancy office to schlepping mop buckets and cleaning supplies from house to house. Yes, it was degrading for this person in particular to clean other peoples’ toilets but there was a family to maintain and bills that had to be paid. She made pretty good money thanks to her marketing skills in acquiring customers but she only lasted a year before quitting on the spot and regrouping. It was hard physical labor and she often found it demeaning and completely insignificant. I’m not sure how much of that was due to her own projection of stigma related to the work she was doing or society’s in general. Anyway, this article made me think of her.
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To Brian B:
Also, how do you people prepare for the housekeeper? Do you do a “pre-clean”, just so you don’t look like a slob? If that’s the case, then I would say a housekeeper is a horrible way to spend your money!!
Yah, I do some pre-cleaning… I clear out the dishwasher, and get the dishes out of the sink, for instance, so that my cleaners can get to the sink to scrub it… I pick up clothes and “stuff” so that the cleaners can get to the counters… floors…etc, to clean, mop, sweep.
So— I don’t run the vacuum and dust, I just clean my stuff away!
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I love this post as this is an issue that I have struggled with for years. We had a house cleaner when we lived in the States. She made really good money and I felt it was worth it.
Fast forward to living in Costa Rica. The big thing here is that it is sooo cheap to hire a Nica to be your house keeper. Forget the fact they steal lots of stuff, you have it and they don’t so it is alright.
I have not been able to hire a house keeper since we moved here, just because of the stigma they suffer from. Most are illegal workers and very, very poor. I find myself feeling sorry for them and doing all the work myself before they even arrive. I just can’t get my mind to accept it.
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I’ve just had the second visit from a one-man cleaning service, and I’m only wishing I’d started sooner.
In my case, I live in a tiny little house (400 square feet), but I’ve also been fighting significant medical issues for the past few months that include major exhaustion. I kept working, but wasn’t managing to do anything at home.
The service means I don’t have to think about the things I find particularly exhausting (mopping the floors, scrubbing the tub), have an easier time maintaining everything else (splashes on the stove, dishes, keeping the sink clear), and as I’m starting to recover, I can put my time into better organisation and other tasks that require my specific attention, rather than stuff someone else could do.
And like other people, there’s something really great about coming home from work to a totally clean house.
I’m currently having visits every two weeks, and I expect as I recover more it’ll drop to monthly – but after just two visits, I really see a difference not only in the house, but in how easy it is for me to keep up with things between visits.
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I consider myself a generally frugal person. I cloth diaper, bake all our breads, make lunches for my husband to take to work, mend our clothing and rarely purchase anything without a coupon. But we recently made the decision to hire someone to come in once a month and do some deep cleaning. With an energetic baby who only naps half an hour at a time and a husband with a heavy workload, my only opportunity to scrub is at night. If $55 per month buys me a cleaner home and more quality time with my husband, well, I never need cable television again.
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I have had a housekeeper on and off for the last 12 years. I am a single mom, and I got a housekeeper the first time when my daughter was 3 and I was working and going to school – both full time. It was a stretch to be able to afford it, and writing that cheque sometimes made my stomach tight, but I did not then, and do not now, regret it at all.
When I was working I was making more an hour than I was paying the housekeeper. When I came home from work I had HOURS of homework to do, and somewhere in there I needed to find enough time to raise my daughter. Hiring out the housework ment that I couldn invest that time in finishing my degree, and going on to get my designation as a Chartered Accountant (like a CPA, but in Canada). Being a CA has meant being able to start my own business and support myself and my daughter comfortably. If I had been forced to choose which to cut back on so I had enough time to keep house – university or work – I’m not sure which I would have chosen, but I am sure that our lives would be different now… and not in a better way.
For me it was the only way that everything could possibly get done, and I am for ever grateful I had the option of hiring the housework done.
Jay
PS. As an aside, it was the invention of “labour saving” devices that pushed much of the household labour back onto women. In the 1800′s it was common to have someone in each week to help with the laundry, or to take the laundry to a laundromat, with the invention of the washing machine those tasks became just one more thing ‘mom’ had to do.
While many of the tasks women used to have to do (hauling water, cooking over an open flame, etc) have been reduced by advances like running water and microwaves, there has been a great deal added to our responsibility list: get a job, keep a ‘perfect’ house, ferry the kids around, etc, etc.
More Work For Mother by Ruth Schwartz Cowan discusses this, as does Never Done: A History of American Housework By Susan Strasser.
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I too have a house cleaner. It has saved both my sanity and my mairrage. I have a high stress in home job and work about 55-60 hours per week. My retired husband would try to do the work but never “the way I would have done it”. The circle would continue with the snide comments about how it was done from me, denigrate to “if you don’t like the way I do it why don’t you do it yourself”. And we really never had any down time together. I consider my cleaning people to be both a god send and my friends and they know it. My time is better spent working at my job where I earn more an hour than I am paying my help. And there is peace in the family again. I would starve before I fired the help.
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The hardest part we’ve had has been in finding good people. I wish Michele lived in our town– there’s also only one trained Doula and she’s a nutcase! (The good doula everybody in town used moved out of state 6 months before my son was born.)
When we were getting our house ready to rent we had a weekly cleaner while we were showing and she started off great (after some initial “you cannot smoke inside the house” negotiation), but by the end of it she was doing a really sloppy job and we’d have to clean again after she came. That was not cool. Luckily we’re both a bit sloppy by nature and neither of us wants a lot of stuff, so monthly cleanings as a bonding activity are enough when we’re not trying to rent the place out. Though I do miss having mother’s helpers keeping the kitchen clean while my son napped.
We also had a fantastic lawn service for a year (mowing in the South is much less fun than cleaning an air conditioned house), after having to fire a couple in a row for trying to cheat us money-wise (hint: never hire someone who leaves a flyer in your mailbox), but then the student running it graduated and the person he sold his company to cut the grass too short and our lawn died. So rather than go through the hassle of finding someone decent again, DH decided to get a manual lawn mower so he could get up once a week at 6 am while its still cool enough to exercise and mow the lawn. (Works for me!)
Maybe we should move to Portland. I’ve always wanted to try living in the Pacific Northwest.
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While I think that a housekeeper is a luxury, I also think that in certain instances, it is a necessity. Before we spend money on anything that seems frivolous, we always ask ourselves, “Is it worth it?” Is the expense worth the service/item?? Sometimes the answer will take days or weeks to come to us, but eventually we figure it out. Then we go from there…
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I’m not sure why you should ever feel guilty of employing someone especially at a decent salary. Would it be better if the person was making $7 an hour at Walmart?
I once had someone work for me in a good paying professional job. She had been a housekeeper many years before and at the time I thought that was surprising. She told me she actually preferred working as a housekeeper. She got an enormous satisfaction from making things perfect. It didn’t make much sense to me at the time but I understand it now.
The only part of the job she didn’t like were the people who tried to take advantage by pushing for a ridiculous level of cleanliness when things were already clean.
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Roblynn #56 no, it’s not alright to steal. Never. Do you think only poor people steal!
Cleaning businesses and individual cleaners can be very far apart in what they will do. We dusted, vaccuumed and surface cleaned bathrooms and kitchens as a basic price cleaning. No underwear, toy or paper pickup. Cobwebs, making beds, deep cleaning were extra. The company had a side business for windows, carpets, wood floors.
We were bonded and so should individuals be.
I, being on a cleaning crew wouldn’t hire one for my home, but would for a business. I’ve seen money laying in a house that I suspect was a test for us.
The bigger/more cluttered/dirtier/more time consuming your home, the more it’s going to cost you. Unless your into slavery and can find a victim (read up on Dubai).
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This has been fascinating. While reading, I started thinking of the reasons I am so behind on my projects list! DH and I have a sizable place, we have a lot of stuff, we both work long hours, we have a sport requiring time from both of us, AND we have a social life.
Between all our other commitments I manage to keep the house tidy and sufficiently clean that I’m not embarrassed to have people drop by, but it’s not as clean as I would like it to be. BUT I don’t want to drop the activities that give me joy in favor of spending half my weekend “free” time on housekeeping, either.
I’m thinking seriously now about hiring a once-a-month helper for the deep cleaning. I think that would be enough. I wouldn’t have any problem working alongside someone, in fact it would probably be kind of fun.
Thanks, Kris, for putting this out there.
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I don’t like the idea of a house cleaner because I feel directly responsible for the house. It’s the same reason I like to do as many of my own repairs and remodeling as I can.
It’s kind of an echo of the line parents tell kids “Well Jimmy, you can get a Dog if you promise to walk him and clean up after him”.
I feel the same way about our garden (Would never hire a gardener), pets (the reason I don’t get one) and our computers (do my own repairs).
Curiously, I don’t feel the same way about our car which might be why I don’t take as good of care of it as I should.
Edit: I don’t care if other people have house keepers, but I find it hard to believe that those who do sense the same sense of responsibility to their house.
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I loved this, thanks for the honest evaluation of this service. Makes me reconsider why we don’t have a housekeeper…
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I guess I’m lucky that my dear husband and I are both pretty casual about cleaning. I had a housecleaner for a short time during a stressful period, and it didn’t really help. I didn’t want to be friends with my housecleaner, but as someone who was cleaning my kitchen and my toilets, she did have an intimate connection with us, and her attitude was not “all business.” Maybe I should have kept looking, but in analyzing my own feelings I found that this wasn’t the same as buying clothes or going out to a restaurant. Or, even the same as getting my hair done, when I feel that I’m paying for real expertise.
Barbara Ehrenreich’s Nickel and Dimed includes an interesting analysis of the commercial housecleaning world, and there have been tons of feminist debate over the power inequalities of this kind of work. I think it will continue to be something about which people disagree.
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This aversion to housekeepers can be seen as a North American phenomenon; having a housekeeper in South America is _very_ normal. I think security is another big issue, because it takes a lot to trust someone to go into your house (and hiring someone who you have vetted is harder than getting randoms through a service like Merry Maids).
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I wish I could afford to hire a housekeeper! I don’t think I’d feel guilty at all, because I’ve never accepted the idea that there are some things women should just do. Like when women who work full-time blog about how they had to clean the house, like their husband or boyfriend is incapable, it’s a foreign way of thinking to me. I stay home, and I still have trouble keeping the house clean. *sigh* It’s just NOT in my blood.
I liked this part about outsourcing: “…nor the factory worker bring inexpensive mass-produced products to personally stock the shelves in my pantry.”
I think I will imagine the factory worker doing just that when I want to buy something I probably don’t really need, and will want to just get rid of in a few months anyway.
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When finances allow, we’ll be hiring a housekeeper. There are few things more deflating than coming home to a messy house. Yeah, we could do it ourselves, but the dividends paid by having someone else do it would far outweigh the financial costs.
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I use to house/dog sit for a couple who had a housekeeper. I would keep things clean and pay more attention the night before she came. I would come back to the place and it would always be amazing. It was like magic.
It wasn’t until I started working for the couple that I realized how uplifting it was to come to a very clean house, and how easy it was to keep clean after the housekeeper was there. I can’t wait until I’m at the point where I can hire a housekeeper.
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When my boyfriend and I moved in together, we knew that cleaning would be an issue. I am generally neater than him, we both work full-time, and we didn’t want housekeeping to be a source of conflict. We hired a cleaning woman (referred by a friend) who comes in every other Monday and cleans the place top to bottom.
Coming home to a clean house is such an amazing thing. Instead of giving up hours on the weekend to vacuum, mop, clean the bathroom, etc., we can work on other projects or just spend more time together. It is definitely money well spent.
There are some tasks I don’t outsource (since I started reading this blog, actually). I learned to change my own VW headlights, saving me about $80 a pop. I also did a small repair to my car’s sunroof drain. (All of the info was found via google.) I’d like to do more of that kind of thing, partly because it’s a pain to drive out to my mechanic, drop the car off, etc. I also do small fixes around the house; I recently changed out some plugs and light switches, for example.
If our financial situation changed, housekeeping would certainly be one of the first things to cut. But it drastically improves our quality of life.
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Michael at #66 – oddly enough, the sense of responsibility to the house is part of what made it *easier* for me to call a cleaning service: I knew I wasn’t able to take the kind of care of my home that I wanted. (Though, as I said, there’s medical issues involved here, not time alone – though I’m also working in a very time and energy consuming job.)
(I rent, incidentally, but a small separate building that has not always had attentive tenants.)
Elisabeth at #66 – I’ve also read Nickel and Dimed: it’s part of what made me sure I wanted to use an owner-run service (not a bigger commercial cleaner).
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I have this feeling about the laundry. Most of my friends/colleagues drop theirs off at the laundromat or dry cleaner (I know, it’s a weird NYC thing where many people don’t have laundry in their apt. or even their building). I sit there and do it myself every week. It saves me about $12 a week. I just can’t bring myself to pay to have someone do it for me.
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As a single mom with three small children, it was easy to make the decision to pay a housekeeper to come for 3 hours every two weeks. I was overwhelmed with all that had to be done. And I would rather spend time playing with my kids then cleaning or nagging them to clean.
I felt guilt at first, but then looked at the values that were important to me. Raising my children is not something I want to outsource. Quality family time is too important.
Our housekeeper does see it as a ministry. She wants to help families spend time together in peaceful homes. That helped me get over the guilt.
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I lost the topic of the article when I read about the housekeeper taking her kid for a tattoo. There’s a whole other story there. Since when do parents take their kid for tattoos? I’d rather put the tattoo money in the bank where it belongs.
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I want to add something touched on earlier about hiring people in foreign countries. When my dad was in China, it was unacceptable for a foreigner to NOT hire a cook/housekeeper/babysitter. It’s considered extremely selfish. Same was true when some friends lived in SE Asia (I forget where exactly). People want to work, and if they are treated decently it’s not “degrading”. It’s not “lazy” to hire someone to do something you don’t have time for or don’t do well; it’s rational economics.
We are considering hiring people for various jobs we clearly suck at (lawn care, carpet cleaning, etc). The hurdle for us is cost; we are not in an ideal space yet financially, so these things have to be weighed against other things.
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I’m new here, but how interesting!
I clean houses; I am a single mom of 5 and while I hope to be doing other work in later years, I am now a small business owner and have freely made my choice based on evaluating the necessities of overall balance. If I considered my job demeaning the fault would entirely be my own weak thinking.
For those who want to know how to hire honest work – ask for references and ask those references questions needing specific answers. Consider asking around, most of my clients have come to me through personal recommendations and contacts. My references have been with me for years and love me; I love them too. Look for similar situations. I’ve also seen my new clients “test” me, or drop in unannounced.
It is a matter of leveraging your time and the value of it with your dollars. Delegating tasks is as old as civilization itself; the most successful people don’t get tied up in tasks that they can’t do as efficiently, effectively, or happily as they can do other life-building priorities. It’s no different than hiring a corporate secretary – why get bogged down in drudgery when you have better things to do? How could one call it laziness if you expect to use your time wisely? When you consider your priorities, don’t forget that intangibles such as networking and exercise/stress relievers or the joy of communicating well with loved ones are investments that pay off more over time and in so many tangible ways!
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I’ve hired regular housecleaners off and on for 15 years or so.
I was raised to clean my own home, and I like it very clean. But living with a man (who is always messy) and having kids (not as messy as the man, but still) and working really long hours–it was just enough to make me crazy. Sure I could get the house clean if I spent an entire day each weekend on it, but when would I spend time with my family? Also, it is so exhausting. I’m almost 50 years old and I make over 6 figures, and I have my finances in order, so I figure why not?
I’ve had much, much, much better luck with independents than with a cleaning franchise company (only “merry maids” is available in my town). I like it that only the people I know are coming into my home, and we can get used to each others’ preferences. MMaids had different people cleaning all the time–very weird. Also the company was much more expensive and inflexible if you needed to change something. Also, the company did a terrible job most of the time–not up to my standards. The last straw was one evening I went home after work to set up for a catered party I was having that evening—and they were still there even though they were supposed to finish their cleaning in the morning! Terrible.
My current cleaners are two middle-aged women who are married to doctors and don’t otherwise work outside their homes. They only clean for a few clients, and they refuse jobs where there are lots of dog hair or the people are extremely messy. They do it to keep busy, they say they love the feeling of accomplishment when they finish a house. I found them through a referral from a friend at work. They have a key to my house and come and clean while I’m at work. I pick up the toys and other stuff laying around so they can clean efficiently–not a problem because it needs to be done anyway.
To those people who worry that housecleaners will steal—this has never happened to me with either housecleaners or babysitters. These aren’t scam artists–they are workers who need their jobs. They know if they steal from you, you will fire them and word will get out and no one will hire them. I’m sure that’s worth more than your ipod or whatever to them.
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in the united states certain individuals benefit greatly from hiring housekeepers. disabled, elderly, single moms with children, those with octuplets and some other segments of the population. having said that, it seems the majority of individuals who hire maid help do so in order feel important. they simply want to be able to say they have hired help and they mention it every chance they get. if you are trying to get rich slowly it doesn’t make any sense. it is a status symbol for middle class people. on the other hand, there are worse things one could spend money on. to each their own.
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A few thoughts. First, about the trust issue, my grandmother cleaned houses part-time and always felt people didn’t trust her. As a result, she refused to clean bedrooms, since that’s where a majority of valuables are kept. My boss’ housekeeper was the same way: she cleaned the kitchen, bathrooms, living rooms, etc., but not the bedrooms. That might be a compromise for those who struggle with that issue.
Second, I’m not sure why the time must be spent “purposefully.” Why can’t I go out and enjoy myself? Why can’t my boyfriend and I go to lunch and a movie? It seems like there’s this requirement that the cost-benefit calculation must be monetary. If we’re married with kids and have a housecleaner, and as a result of this are able to come home and spend time with them instead of trying to clean things up and pray they don’t get in the way, then I think that’s a perfectly good reason to have a housecleaner. Heck, in my opinion, if you want one and can afford it, you don’t really need a reason.
Third, when my boss had a housecleaner she always used the products that my boss kept in the house. She never brought her own products, and I once asked her why. She explained that she doesn’t know enough about people’s houses to assume that the same products will work everywhere. For instance, my boss had granite countertops that couldn’t use abrasive cleaners. My boss had appropriate cleaners, but the Rosie wouldn’t look at the granite and immediately think, oh can’t use this, got to use something else. Another example, she worked for a woman whose daughter had severe allergies to most detergents. She washes the dishtowels when she’s done and the daughter would’ve certainly had an allergic reaction to any product that she used.
Just my reactions to some of the comments previously posted.
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If hiring a housekeepr can free up enough time that can be used to generate more income than what it costs to pay the housekeeper, I say go ahead and do it.
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For those of you asking about the employee vs. independent contractor issue, try page 8 of this to get you started:
http://www.irs.gov/pub/irs-pdf/p15.pdf
and this:
http://www.irs.gov/publications/p926/index.html
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My grandmother spent most of her life cleaning houses and taking care of elderly women up until her late 70s. If there wasn’t a need she would have a harder time making ends meet with raising five kids (married) and being a woman of color that in that day and age. She was very thankful to have the work she did.
I think there is a time and place for a luxury like housekeepers. I really could have used a “cleaning lady” when I was at my sickest last year. Trying to do everything with no outside help was not healthy for me.
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What a truly moving article, Kris!
The focus on taking separate perspectives into account when discussing any issue is a very important one, as well as a large step in breaking down the many stigmas that currently exist in our society.
What best suits one individual may not suit another, and we must learn to be more tolerant of the decisions of others, even when they do not jive and sometimes conflict with our personal values and beliefs.
I hope that the day will come when people truly realize that they do not need to justify their choices to anyone but themseleves, for no one else faces the consequences or reaps the benefits but the one who made the intitial decision: you.
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A couple comments on the comments: The housekeeper I had in San Jose was male, and ran a housecleaning service for a living. So they’re not all women.
Also, as a housekeeper, you can write off miles spent driving to houses at the standard IRS per-mile rate, as long as you don’t have an “office” you commute to. (This is my understanding; IANAA [I am not an accountant]; see an accountant to get full details for your particular situation.)
-Erica
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@ Kris and JD:
You guys obviously read the comments in Erica Douglas’ article at another blog! LOL. your article is so carefully worded.
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We had to cut our house cleaner from our budget. We really miss her! I’d referred her to some friends, who now use her services (lucky them). She was very similar to Michele, a hard-working, responsible and trustworthy small business owner. The relationship was much pretty much the same as I would have with any other professional I would pay for services — be that a plumber, electrician or CPA.
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Nickel from Five Cent Nickel just dropped me a line. He, too, thinks that a housekeeper is generally an employee. He’ll have a post up on his site about it shortly. Looks like Kris and I may need to talk to our accountant!
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I. LOVE. MY. HOUSEKEEPER.
Seriously, I would have a huge problem if I couldn’t afford her anymore and there is other stuff I will cut to keep her. To me, she’s not an indulgence, she’s a necessity. I’m a single mom. I have three children 6 years and younger. I have a full time job and various side jobs. I just can’t deal with the house. I actually wish I could afford to have her come once a week because unless you have them yourself, you have NO idea what kind of damage three little ones do to a house. Her name is Francie btw and Francie Day is the best day ever. By the way, Francie also cleans the house for my aunt, my brother, my mom, and just now has signed on to clean my 80 year old grandmother’s bathrooms once every two weeks.
As for guilt? Zero. Sorry. A lot of people on that OTHER post were all pissy about Erica making it seem like she was doing the cleaning lady a favor by letting her clean her house. Well guess what people it’s as much a favor for Erica to hire her cleaning lady as it is for my bosses to hire me as an admin. Everyone said there was no way a cleaning lady would choose to do that if she had the chance. Well that’s the point, most of us don’t have the chance (or at least feel we have the chance) to change careers and we’ll take what we can get.
I know that I for one feel overqualified for my job. I too feel that I deserve a “better” job but it’s easier said than done isn’t it? So yes, my bosses can take complete satisfaction in feeling they’re doing me a favor by giving me this job because THEY ARE. They chose me when they can choose from thousands of others.
Not only that, but really job satisfaction goes more with the person and their spirit than the actual job. Case in point: my trash collector. I really love running into him. He’s always got his earphones on and is whistling and dancing. He smiles and waves at everyone he meets. That guy looks like he’s having such a great time– collecting other people’s trash. He sure as heck looks like he has more job satisfaction than I do!
Finally @ Scott #48:
“I guess I’m in a different demographic than a lot of your readers. My wife is a stay at home mom and we get by on my income. We don’t have to pay for day care, or a maid so she can work. I agree with what bob said above “Being lazy is a good way to stay poor.””
Your wife IS the daycare and the maid. You pay for those services one way or another– you either hire your wife or you hire others. For example, let’s assume my numbers are the same for you: Daycare is $5550 a year, the housekeeper is $1690 for a total of $7240. Let’s say your wife has the education/skill set/experience to get a job that earns her $25,000 a year (roughly $12 an hour). Take away the cost of others providing services and you’re left with $17,760 a year. So, on paper, this is a fiscally poor decision. After all, that money can go into investments and retirement funds to generate even MORE money. Of course, as Kris is trying to point out here– things solely on paper aren’t always the best way to make decisions. Surely, your wife being a stay at home mom brings more value than the additional income would justify which is the real reason you go that route– which at $17,760 a year would probably qualify as a luxury.
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I think one could argue that, in this economy, if you can afford a housekeeper you have something of a moral obligation to do so.
First, it creates jobs in a time of record unemployment.
Second, if you have children and two parents working, your children deserve that time more than your bank account deserves the extra $180 a month. Chalk it up as one more way kids are expensive, but if both parents are away from their kids 10 hours a day at work I can’t see how it is acceptable to spend less time with them if you can afford otherwise.
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I don’t have any of the standard objections to hiring a housekeeper that Kris mentioned in her post (though I would personally also struggle with some irrational guilt). Housekeepers who work as independent contracts actually, on average, earn a lot more than the majority of hourly employees and often have a good deal of control over their work lives.
My main concern with the trend of outsourcing housekeeping is more political and philosophical: I don’t like how it provides a method for evading truly challenging men’s gendered roles in relationships. This is how I’ve seen most of my friends use it. Women have changed their roles over time and now work in the paid work force en mass. However, many studies have shown that no matter how much a woman works outside of the house, very little has changed between men and women inside the house — women still do almost all of the housekeeping and child raising, and they feel lucky to have men who “help.” Yes, there are some lovely exceptions, but I’m referring to the statistical norm. To address this in my personal life (remember, the personal is political), I have decided that if/when I am married and can afford a housekeeper, I will only hire one after my partner and I have figured out a system where we split the housework roughly 50/50. This is important to positively affect gender roles and relations in broader society, and it’s something I want to model for children I might have.
JD’s first comment illustrated what I’m talking about well. He wrote, “Our house was a disaster, and I’m sure my mother would have loved to have somebody clean for her, but there was barely food to pay for needs, let alone wants.” JD assumes that the “somebody to clean” for his mom needed to be a housekeeper, which they couldn’t afford. I’m sure his mom would have been equally happy to have that same type of contribution from her husband or children. If men picked up half of all the work in the domestic sphere, women wouldn’t be looking to outsource quite so much. And when the work was outsourced, it might be less marginalized.
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Thank you so much Kris, for this excellent post. We do the same thing currently that you used to do… different defitions of dirty house, make a ‘plan’, plan doesn’t work, more arguing. We also have the same dilemma as #4… no time for projects because its all we can do to keep up with the cleaning routine. We’ve got the money, and not the time, so why the guilt? Thanks for your perspective, you’ve helped me take the plunge!
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I just responded to Nickel’s article – if you’ve paid over $1700 a year (in 2009/2010) to any household employee (of which a housekeeper would be considered) then you need to pay employment tax.
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KF, good points. Gender roles are based on long histories/traditions, not on intrinsic aptitudes. Even the old split of indoor/outdoor servants (women in the house, men outside) was based on assumptions about physical capabilities.
Of course, in those days, women had basically no control of reproduction, so outdoor work *was* more difficult for them; but that didn’t stop farm wives and daughters from planting, plowing, harvesting, shearing, etc right alongside the men.
Household labor is one of those things that every couple ought to discuss just as they ought to discuss their views on money, kids, and religion. Very few people, it seems, actually talk about these things *before* a problem arises.
Frankly, I think people could ask a damn sight more of their kids than most seem to. I know my parents did: my sister and I were helping with housework *and* yard work before we were ten. Whereas now, I know many families whose kids’ sole contribution to the peace and comfort of the home is to MAYBE pick up their own toys.
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@Michael (#66)
I don’t see the correlation between mopping and having a sense of responsibility to my home. I love my home, pay for my home, and keep my home maintained. Am I missing something? Are you sure you’re not being judgemental simply because you feel like you have to do this stuff yourself?
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I am not sure you are getting a fair deal
$22 and hour is fairly expensive.
I pay $10 and I live in Manhattan..
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@KF (#93)
You should know if the man you marry sees the relationship as truly equal before you marry him. You don’t need to “test” him before hiring a housekeeper.
I knew my husband saw the relationship as equal or I wouldn’t have married him. That takes out a bunch of problems right there. We equally hate housework, so we hired Jacquie.
I thought it was awesome when you brought up the fact that J.D. and his siblings could have helped his mom…I was thinking the same thing. My mom would have screamed her head off if we didn’t help out.
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I pay $15 an hour in Houston, TX.
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