Social Capital: More Valuable Than Money?
Published on - May 27th, 2010 (Modified on - June 1st, 2010) (by J.D. Roth) I’m back! After ten days boating through southeast Alaska (and two days of recovery), I’m ready to think about personal finance once again. Actually, it’ll probably come as no surprise that I never stopped thinking about personal finance. Even while we were skirting among ice floes, pulling up prawns, and admiring whales, my mind never strayed far from the topic of money. (I’m not saying this is a good thing, but it’s the truth.)
It’d be all too easy for me to share another sermon about the perils of Stuff — when you spend ten days on a 38-foot boat, living out of a single carry-on bag, you come to realize how little you actually need in life — but I feel like I’ve beaten that topic into the ground over the past few months. I’m working to cut down my dependence on things, and I know that many of you are, too; let’s save further discussion for another day.
Today, I want to talk about the value of social capital.
Though I don’t mention it often around GRS, the idea of social capital is constantly lurking behind the scenes. It’s a notion that can be hard to define. In fact, rather than try to do so from scratch, I’m going to quote myself. The next section is an excerpt from my book, Your Money: The Missing Manual.
What is social capital?
You create social capital — mutual goodwill — when you volunteer at a soup kitchen, help your neighbor move a piano, have your Sunday School class over for a barbeque, or join a softball league. Any time you participate in your community, you’re generating social capital, both for yourself and for the other people involved. People with lots of social capital can find help when they need it; those with little social capital can spend a lot of time frustrated and alone.
The classic Christmas film It’s a Wonderful Life is a great illustration of social capital. Jimmy Stewart plays George Bailey, a man who repeatedly forgoes his own interests to help his friends and neighbors. It costs him — financially and mentally. When disaster strikes, Bailey decides he’s worth more dead than alive, and plans to commit suicide so that the proceeds from his life-insurance policy can set things right.
In the end, Bailey is saved when all the folks he’s made sacrifices for over the years come to his aid. Sure, it’s a schmaltzy, feel-good moment, but it’s a fine example of social capital in action. When Bailey’s brother declares that George is “the richest man in town”, he’s not joking: Bailey may no have much financial capital, but he’s flush with social capital.
You don’t have to sacrifice your own interests to create social capital. You can often create win-win situations where everyone profits. But the best way to build social capital is to help others without expecting anything in return.
There’s more to wealth than just money. Social capital is just as real as financial capital — and often more valuable.
The extraordinary power of compound kindness
Social capital comes from building a broad network of relationships, a network that you can draw upon to help yourself and help others. This isn’t networking in the smarmy, slimy sense, but in the authentic “I’m your neighbor and your friend” sense. A complex network of people will have thousands (millions!) of connections, creating a powerful web of support. (You can see great examples of this in Ben Franklin’s autobiography and in Keith Ferrazzi’s Never Eat Alone.)
These networks are usually built through everyday kindnesses. These actions compound (just like compound interest) to yield larger returns in the future. From my trip to Alaska, here are some examples of the sorts of small actions that help create community and help build social capital:
- Southeast Alaska is peppered with small villages separated by large expanses of water. Boaters (and not just my skipper John) stop to check on each other, and on the people they know in out-of-the-way spots.
- Another way to cope with this isolation is book exchanges. Many of the small airports and harbors contain bookshelves where folks can discard the books they’ve finished and pick up new ones. This is a brilliant idea!
- We had miserable luck crabbing and fishing during the first part of our trip. One night, a small charter boat invited us over to share in the halibut they’d caught earlier in the day. Later, after we finally caught and filleted our first salmon, we handed off some of the meat to a passing boat.
- Some of the summer boaters actually live in southeast Alaska. These folks have vehicles in their home towns, and they share them with other boaters they know well. When we docked in Sitka, for example, we were able to borrow a truck from Sailboat Bob so that we could run our errands and drive to dinner.
- Every morning at 6:30, John gets on his ham radio to check in with the Great Northern Boaters Net, where dozens of different boats check in throughout the week, giving updates on their progress. This allows folks to keep tabs on each other, to ask for and receive advice.
These are just a few of the ways I saw social capital in action during my trip; there were many other examples, both large and small. Taken together, the community spirit I saw was amazing.
Social capital in real life
Social capital plays an active role in your life, too. The broader your circle of friends, the bigger your family, the better you know your neighbors, and the more involved you are in your community, the more social capital you have. (And the more social capital you contribute to others — it’s a reciprocal thing!)
Here are some everyday examples of how you and I generate social capital:
- When I loan my rototiller to a friend, that builds social capital. When I then crash my bike and have to ride to his house for first aid (yes, this really happened), that generates social capital.
- When your community comes together to clean up a run-down park, that generates social capital.
- You create social capital when you join a bowling league, a knitting circle, or a book group. You create social capital when you go to church or join a social club.
- When you stop to help a stranded motorist, you’re creating social capital.
- Social capital grows when you share the surplus from your vegetable garden with your neighbors and co-workers.
As you can see, social capital is most often generated by doing things that help other individuals — or your community. It exists everywhere, but some places have more of it than others.
I’m not sure why I was so struck by the community ties I saw in Alaska. Are these ties really stronger than elsewhere? Were they just more obvious because they took different forms than I’m used to? How can I learn to see (and contribute) to the social capital here in Oak Grove, Oregon?
I don’t have the answers to these questions, but I’ll certainly be thinking about them a great deal during the coming weeks. As I say, social capital is always lurking in the background here at Get Rich Slowly. There’s more to being rich than just having a lot of money; there’s real wealth in having a large network of friends, too.
Also don’t forget to follow Get Rich Slowly on Facebook and Twitter.
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And you didn’t even mention the social capital involved in blogging?!
I still feel relatively new to blogging, but that’s been one of my favorite parts. You’re constantly making new connections with (and doing favors for, and receiving favors from) other people with similar interests. There’s really no way around it.
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I love using my social network to save money and to help other people save money. For example, my sister-in-law just had a baby and we gave her all of our baby gear which helped her save a great deal of money (and got rid of clutter at our house!). We are constantly swapping babysitting with our friends. We like to borrow tools from our family members so that we don’t have to buy them- we borrowed a ladder recently from my dad and a rototiller from my husband’s dad. I would love to hear about how people use their social network as a tool for saving money.
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I don’t see anything intrinsically evil with the “Dark side of social capital”. Contributing with the hope of having a return is just a different kind of investment: like venture capital as opposed to a government grant.
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I’ve always been incredibly introspective and don’t really have anyone in my life that I think of as a friend.
I was one of those obnoxious teens who acted like a bit of a prat to get attention and was shunned as a result. I soon realised the error of my ways, but kids are very unforgiving and it has coloured my entire adult life.
I stopped going to church when I was a teen, don’t take part in any team activities and have been a perennial renter (and so don’t know any of my neighbours). As well as that I live hundreds of miles from my family and haven’t heard from them in months (not through lack of effort on my part, but everyone has their own life to live).
This means that, apart from being nice to my work colleagues, my sum store of social capital is $D0 (zero social capital dollars!)
I worry when I think about sickness, other problems or even silly things (like who the hell do I ask to be my best man), as I don’t have a network to turn to for help and assistance.
It’s not all bad – I have a loving girlfriend, a steady job and my health. But still, my life sounds completely different to most others and I don’t think it’s for the better.
So, without meaning to sound like the ghost of social capital past – GET OUT THERE AND BUILD SOME BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE!!
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I adore Robert Putnam! “Bowling Alone” is my favorite article of his and I discuss it sevral times a year with new people I meet! It is a sad truth that doing good without the promise of reciprocation is indeed something rare in most of the U.S.
My husband helps out our elderly neighbor on a consistent basis and his daughter was in near tears thanking him because other neighbors had been taking advantage of him (he owns a stocked pond and a farm/garden). It was so sad that she was so touched by what we consider an everday kindness and duty to ourselves/our neighbors. It is such an internal warmth that comes from helping others that even selfless acts do not feel that way, they feel wonderful!
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@lupalz (#3)
Yeah, I agree with you. Perhaps I’ve phrased it poorly in the article. It’s true that by contributing to the community/friends/family, we expect (in a general way) to reap a future benefit. But I really do believe that there are folks who use social capital in a manipulative way. They’re scorekeepers. They’ll do you a favor, but then they use this as leverage to extract concessions from you in the future.
Again, the best example I can think of is from The Godfather. Don Corleone’s actions do benefit the community (to an extent), but they’re primarily for his personal gain, and there’s a sinister element to them, and not just because many of them are illegal.
I feel like I’m doing a poor job of explaining this!
Maybe somebody else can help clarify. It’s a minor point, anyhow. People who game the system are rare, because it has to be done intentionally. Most folks who participate in a wider social network, promoting its overall health, do so because on a gut level they understand it’s good for everyone around them, and not because they want everyone to owe them favors.
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J.D., I like this article! Nice fresh thought and discussion.
May I suggest an edit? “When you stop to help a stranded motorist, [you're] creating social capital.”
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One word to help explain the effects of the dark side of social networking as exhibited in The Godfather: Tessio.
If you know the film, you know what I mean.
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Thanks, Trini. That was a brain fart!
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Welcome back! I hope you do a post on your vacation. I would love to learn more about what you saw and experienced.
Back to the task at hand…
Social community is great. However, sometimes I feel like so much of a giver, almost to the point of being taken advantage of. It isn’t that I expect something in return, but I also think some people can spot a giver a mile away. I find I have to balance my ‘social community’ with saying no.
One way I love to give is through blood donation. Sure it hurts and I feel kinda cruddy that day, but what an easy way to possibly save a life.
Sometimes I get in a rut and I don’t even want to attend to the commitments I have made. However, I always have a great time when I am there, and I have to remember that when I am tempted to stay at home.
One final comment. One time to always make sure you are socially committed is when someone is grieving. I recently lost my father and I will always remember the kindness some people showed me. I know life is busy and funerals are no fun. However, you will never be wrong when supporting a friend. On the other side, it is always wrong to not be supportive when someone needs you.
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@Everyday Tips (#10)
I’m not going to post about my trip extensively here, but you can read all about it (and watch video) at my personal site.
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@Anne:
I completely agree with you on using your social network of friends and family to borrow stuff and ask for help.
I go a step further and belong to several online forums and provide my insight on subject matter and in return, I post my questions about topics I want to know more about. So, it goes beyond your immediate frieand and family.
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@ Luke:
I do understand what you are saying…
For my husband and for myself, it can be difficult to be receptive to help from others…we don’t like to ask for help, so we don’t — we rely on each other for just about everything.
I used to be very willing to help out other people (i.e., babysit their kids when they needed a sitter, help to paint a deck, weed their garden, prepare a bunch of food for parties). I was a people-pleaser.
Oftentimes I would try to involve my husband in those efforts. I found out that he was tired of helping others without getting anything in return (even though we never asked for anything!). He’s also a police officer and saw people always taking from society and giving nothing in return…it can be a thankless job!
I just started to feel like I was being ‘used’. It was a vicious circle and I decided that I would back off from being a self-described ‘doormat’. I think this has hardened me and has kept me from building social capital.
Now as I have gotten older, I am beginning to feel as though I should work on my trust issues and find ways to give to the community in a way that feels better than being ‘put upon’. Social capital works because it’s about the “WE” rather than the “I”.
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A less sinister example of the “Dark side” of social capital is my colleague of 15 years, M.
M can be very generous (“You’ve just had surgery, I know you don’t need to be cooking, so I’m bringing over a meal;” “You’re going to DC so I brought in these 2 travel guides for you to take;” or “We’re moving and don’t need this ladder anymore and I thought you could use it, so I’ll drop it at your house on Saturday”).
She always explains in detail the valaue of what she’s offering. She describes how I might use the item, why she thinks I should want it and how helpful it will be. She also usually tells other people what she’s done or offered. There is a clear expectation that we take the item, and acknowledge her generosity repeatedly and publicly.
My husband does not want me to accept any offer from M anymore, because you just know anything she does is listed in an accounting log she keeps in her head. She seems to assign a value to everything she does or offers to do (even if we don’t accept), and also assigns a value for what we do for her. But the values she assigns as the “offerer” seem to be much higher than the value we would assign as the recipient. It feels like we’re indebted to her for some unspecified amount, one that compounds like credit card balances, like we’d be sick if we knew the total amount we’d have to do to pay it off in her mind.
She’s like this at work, too. If I’m on vacation and she does a piece of work for “my” area of responsibility, she emails me and our boss about every step she takes. But when I do something for “her” area (and I don’t run to our boss about any of it, ever), she points out that it was nice of me, but a small thing and unnecessary for me to have done.
This is how she treats everyone – not just me – and this is a manipulative use of the idea of social capital. The “dark side” user can still benefit from social capital, and still provide real benefits to others as well, but in a stunted kind of way.
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I hope to read the rest of this and the comments when I’m not late for work
but I have to say that every single job I’ve ever had fell into my lap because of my social connections.
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Re: your trip… I wonder if that 11 year old girl was the same one I sat next to in the fall (there can’t be that many people in Alaska, right?). She told me about home schooling and her desire to become a missionary. We got into an in-depth discussion about whether or not belief was needed for salvation. One of the more unusual experiences in my life, talking with a pre-teen from Alaska on a plane.
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J.D., I thought you did a great job explaining the dark side of social capital, as did Shalom. And I liked Holly’s “I vs. we” comment.
Here’s my attempt at explaining the dark side:
My friends, the M__s, have great social capital. They know their neighbors, volunteer at their children’s school and are active in their church. They have housed people who needed temporary housing. They freely give of their resources as they are able. They’ve watched my child for free, and I’ve watched theirs.
As a result, people gladly do them favors. When they’ve had kids, people have arranged to bring them meals for the first few weeks after the birth. Sometimes they themselves have asked for help, such as when the husband has gone out of town on business for a week and the wife needed help with her three young kids during the evening hours. They ask, and because they are so nice, you try to help them out if you can.
When they are giving, they probably know that their investment in community will reap rewards, such as the help they get, down the road. But they aren’t calculating about it. That’s the dark side. When they do you a favor, they don’t say, “You owe me one.” When they call up to ask for help, they don’t demand it and they don’t remind you of the ways they’ve helped you. It’s a simple, self-confident request, and if you can’t help, they have a wide network of friends to turn to.
So, there it is: under the dark side, they’d be doing the favors SOLELY with the expectation that some day you would pay them back (and they’d make sure you paid up). Instead, they freely give of themselves, and when they need help, they get it without resorting to calculating, manipulative tactics of any kind.
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I love the idea of social capital. I freelance at a nonprofit that helps disadvantaged youth from urban areas navigate the path towards a successful college career. One of the big things we emphasize with our students is that they should draw on their social capital for help with the college application process–if they don’t have a parent who has gone to college and thus can’t answer questions, how about another relative or a teacher or pastor? We also pair them up with college student mentors who can help. It’s a great lesson. Thanks for writing about it!
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This item fits my husband to a T. Helping other people just comes naturally to him, he cannot not do it, nor does he keep tabs. I used to be protective of him when we started our relationship because I felt he was taken advantage of, but you can’t change a tiger’s stripes. However he has a much richer social network than I have, and when you live like this you need less money, because you can trade both help and tools, and people may give you help just when you need it. Also, except for when he is new to a town, he has never needed to look for a job. He knows so many people if he mentions he is looking for a particular oppourtunity, something invariably comes up.
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Excellent points, when I moved to my current locale 5 years ago I did not know anybody. I joined a Toastmaster group and a softball team. I would freely offer my skills as a “computer guy” building up social capital and developing a great group of friends. If you get the reputation as being willing to help someone out people are more than willing to open up there network to you to help you out in return.
-Rex
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I learned how little I really need on a trip to Istanbul Turkey. The airline lost my luggage. I went to a modern mall and got a business suit, a second blouse, a toothbrush, and a comb.
The fate of my luggage? Oh! It circumnavigated the globe and was fedex’d from Instanbul two weeks after I returned home.
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Anyone who lives in the south, especially rural south, knows exactly what you mean about the good ol’ boy network and its many guises. Although, it’s the good ‘ol gals too (schools, charities, churches, pageants, social clubs). Just different arenas.
A good ol’ boy networker, Bob-owner of hardware store, will hire George’s boy, George Jr., just because they want to get in good with George, who owns the feed & seed store in town, who has the power to extend credit on seed during bad years (especially if the bank isn’t taking loans). Doesn’t matter if George Jr. pulls wings off flies and gooses the owners 16 year old daughter…
George Sr. knows his kid is a bad apple (apples don’t fall far from the tree) and relies on his feed store leverage to suggest that George might like to work at the hardware store. And that if Sr. has to keep supporting Jr., there may not be any extra credit to extend in the spring.
All bad behavior is glossed over, ignored completely, or derision is heaped on the victim. But hey, we got seed for next year.
Bad social capital, like with the Godfather, has ripples also into the community. To use your own example, if Bailey and Pigeon Falls is an example of good social capital, Potter and Pottersville is the example of the effects of bad social capital.
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Luke ! it isn’t too late to make connections. Volunteer or get involved with a cause and you will make friends.
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Great article. I think you did a good job of explaining your point. I think that when we bless others and try to honor God in all of our relationships, it provides a great benefit to us. We are in God’s will for one, also we can know that we have touched others. Also, it is great to know that when you are in need, you have a network of people who will come to your aid.
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But… You can’t enter social capital into a spreadsheet
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I might be showing my age, but didn’t this used to just be called “neighborliness?”
Annie
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Several years ago, I moved from an affluent, medium-sized city in the Southwest to a low-income rural area in the Northeast. I was very struck when I moved here at how giving everybody I met was. People I hardly knew loaned me stuff, brought me food, fixed my car. There is a very strong culture of building social capital here, unlike what I experienced in the city. Even though my city was friendly, open, and laid-back for an urban area. I was actually a little creeped out by it at first — why were all these people placing obligations on me? But now I get why it works this way.
I think there are a couple things going on here at the margins of civilization (jk). One is that because the population is sparse, everybody knows everybody. Everybody’s network links up in multiple ways. So if I contribute at our local community theater, one of my fellow actors will be my neighbor’s cousin, my postmistress’s best friend, and my friend’s stepmom. This means that each act of contribution and generosity is recognized by *many* people who know who I am. So the rewards/social status for contributing come back around to me much sooner than in a place where I am relatively anonymous. In a city, each act of reciprocity must come from the individual I was generous to, or maybe their spouse. Here, reciprocity for an act of generosity can come from almost anyone I know.
Secondly, because we are in a rural area with a harsh climate and a moribund economy, a generous act means more. When I got sick soon after moving into a half-built house in the middle of winter (long story), the couple who showed up with homemade soup and helped my husband chop some firewood, did more than just render us forever grateful. They truly saved us from being hungry and cold. There *are* no food delivery services here, so even if I’d had the money, I could not have ordered out for soup. In a city, you can buy just about anything. Here in the wilderness, human kindness provides all kinds of things that money simply can’t buy.
So I think social capital is more visible in Alaska because it both pays off faster and more visibly, and is more likely to be a matter of life and death rather than just a social and financial boost.
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“The hole through which you give is the hole through which you receive” Dr Edward Kramer
I believe in social capital!I’m in!
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I think there is a point where social capital meets regular captital — we believe that shopping locally and supporting small local businesses is a form of social capital. For example, we buy our books from used bookstores and an independent book store in our town. We know those owners and when we were buying gift certficates as prizes for a book-collecting contest at the local U, the owners offered to subsidize the purchase.
Similarly, we keep our funds in local banks and credit unions, and, again, what we may be losing in marginal interest, we’re getting back in having those semi-social relationships that mean that we get great service, including no problems with credit etc. In general, every purchase we make from a local store instead of on-line or from a big box is, I think, helping the social fabric of our community.
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thank you for a fantastic post. compound kindness!
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This is a great article, and something I’ve been thinking about a lot over the past few years.
In addition to the favor-doing part of social capital, which is important but tends to come once relationships are already well established, I’d like to point out that actually making time to spend with other people is super important. If a friend from work, school, church, whatever invites you over to dinner or out to a game or something, and you turn them down once or twice because you’re too busy, there may not be another invitation, and you may have lost that opportunity to make a new connection. It seems like these days, everyone’s busy, but do you really want that to get in the way of building a community?
Our current group of 10 or so local friends is developing into a really strong community, the kind that will probably become a “village” once we all have kids, and it’s in large part because all of us make an effort to accept each other’s invitations and do stuff together. We’ve known many other people, who we think would really enjoy our little community, who just can’t seem to find an evening or a weekend to do anything with us. It’s possible they just don’t like us, I’m sure (though I think we’re quite likeable
, but I think in many cases it’s that they’re just too focused on work and other day-to-day stress of life to be able to make an effort to be social.
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One thing that I’ve found over time, is that you need to be selective about your network. There are good investments and bad ones. I have a friend that I’d consider a bad investment. Maybe that social capital is just very built up, but you have to recognize the opportunities to use it. I have another friend that I feel I actually owe because the payback has been so timely and personal. This post actually revealed something to me. That I need to be just as careful with my social capital as I am with my financial. Thanks JD.
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This post is so great, and is something that is top of mind right now as I start my own business. It takes a great deal of support to leap out on my own, and without great friends, colleagues and others in my network… I’m not sure I would have been as equipped to do it!
Also, I know that I feel like there is higher social capital in smaller areas, or areas where others are very dependent on each other for help. But, then I look at my local neighborhood and realize we have it here, we just don’t interact as often.
I think in places like Southern California, where we don’t have harsh weather and its pretty easy to get around and do our own things, we don’t have a daily dose of ‘active’ social capital. But, when we have a big Earthquake, or fires, or destructive mud slides… the communities step up. Neighbors help neighbors. So, while I think in some areas the social capital is seen every day, I don’t actually think it is less in communities where it isn’t seen everyday, I just think it is different.
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I don’t have the answers to these questions
You move six steps ahead of most of the “experts” when you ask the right questions, J.D.
Rob
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A very timely post, JD. Even though Putnam’s book is now somewhat dated, social capital is now, more than ever, critical to our success as a society and species.
The tragic oil spill in the gulf reminds us that we have reached the limits of our abuse of the environment. The economic and social crises that we are now beginning to face are the result of our environment reaching the breaking point.
Human society will be forced to change (hopefully it will decide to change before it is forced) to accomodate the rapid rise of people living with fewer resources. Social capital is the glue that will hold us together, and keep us from falling into violence and chaos. Fortunately, social capital also brings out the best in us (as you point out) and improves our chances for a flourishing life.
The crash of “life as we know it” will not be as devastating as the media would lead us to believe. Consumerism is not the path to happiness. Social capital is. Thanks so much for the post.
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@Luke-
Thanks for sharing! I know what you mean! When I was 22 I moved to Los Angeles by myself and I didn’t know ANYONE. It was the hardest 3 years of my life. I moved back to Michigan because I was sick of living without a strong network. Best of luck to you!
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I have a great example of this in action. My husband and I about a year ago started renting in a new neighborhood. We didn’t think about schools at the time because our daughter was still in preschool and we didn’t expect to be staying more than two years. During a casual conversation on the street one day, a neighbor clued us into the fact that our neighborhood school actually had a highly respected pre-K magnet program. People from all over the city applied, but only those, like us, living in the “walk zone” could be sure to get in. The deadline to put your name in for the lottery was the very next day. With this one conversation, we saved $10,000 in preschool expenses for a year.
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Great article and terrific comments, especially from Becky and Luke. I completely agree with Becky about rural life almost necessitating strong social ties. The flip side is you have to give up some privacy, but this is not necessarily a bad thing … I think of recent years, people have “bunkered down” to a deleterious extent.
Like Luke, I was a loner and outsider as a teen and didn’t even care to change that during college and grad school. Only after completely changing my environment and getting involved in a sport I’d barely heard of (ballroom dancing) did I develop a strong network – because I was finally meeting people outside my workplace.
Would not go back to the hermit life even if I could.
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Without social capital, I’d be too depressed to care about personal finance or a variety of other things. I am a social creature and adore the fact that another personal finance blogger brought this up! Social capital is what makes weekends so great and being able to look yourself in the mirror and know that you are contributing good stuff to the world.
Luke, I married someone like you. It’s never too late to build a network. My husband was a teenage pain in the butt and wasn’t all that much better in his early 20′s when we got married. He’s an opinionated pessimist which makes it hard to make friends…people think he’s a downer, but he’s really sweet and dependable and funny as hell when you get him going – great sense of humor. He balances out my rampant optimism too, lol.
Anyway, he discovered Curling this year and is enthralled. He’s made a great group of friends. I love to hang out with them when I can make it simply since all those guys are a ton of fun and enjoy my husband’s company – real friends. You might have the same thing happen if you can find a hobby that just clicks.
Don’t give up or feel down…you obviously built a little social capital with the people commenting today – me for one and I see a ton of other people that replied as well.
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Luke –
I am an introvert, and have a tendency to hide from building social capital. One thing that helps me is to network through activities where I have a concrete task, rather than straight social networking. For instance, volunteering at a soup kitchen where there are several other volunteers, or taking a class (especially one with lots of teamwork or pair activities, like cooking or ballroom dancing or chemistry), or even getting a second job as a grocery store clerk. If I have a duty and a defined role, I find it much easier to smile and be helpful. Good luck!
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Thought-provoking post. I have never thought of my personal community in terms of social capital, but in a way, I guess that I have tried to create social capital for myself.
I am a 40-something single lady who lives in a city with no close relatives. I have spent close to 10 years building a community or support system for myself. You could call this social capital. When a friend became seriously ill 5 years ago, it scared me to think I may not have anyone to help me in my time of need, so I stepped up my social connections.
I am happy to report that I feel very firmly embedded in a web of support that I have created. When I nearly lost my job two years ago, I had no less than 5 friends or family that offered me a place to stay if I needed it. There was money available to borrow if I needed that (not that I would ever take them up on it). It still isn’t the same as being surrounded by close family, but at least I know help is there if I need it. (And PS – I would do the same for them).
Luke – it’s never too late to start! Join clubs (try meetup.com, a running club, or a movie club), volunteer in your community. Contact your college alumni association and meet fellow alumni. Ask a colleague to grab a beer sometime. That is how you start. It’s up to you to make the first move!
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Very timely post for me. My husband and I were just talking about this yesterday. He has the most generous, giving spirit when it comes to doing things for others – doesn’t understand the concept of looking the other way when someone is struggling with a heavy package or clearly needs help of some sort. He cheerfully hands out extras from our garden to neighbors we don’t even know, shovels snow for every older neighbor on our street, and uses his extensive handyman skills to help out almost everyone we know. What we were discussing yesterday was his reluctance to ask for help when we need it. He doesn’t want to borrow tools or ask for help on a project, because he thinks he should be self-reliant. It’s like the opposite of the dark side – help everyone and accept no help in return.
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While I cannot argue against the value of social capital, I do want to offer a cautionary tale to counter the overwhelmingly positive response this article has received.
Like Luke (comment #4), I was a troublemaker when I was younger. As I grew up, I gradually changed my ways and became a nicer, more considerate person. I made a huge effort to treat my friends, girlfriends, and family with kindness and help them when I could. However, I found that when the time came when I needed help, I had no one who was willing to offer any. These people had formed an image of me in their mind and it was not simply erased once I changed my behavior.
The message I’m trying to convey is that social capital is great, but not every person is a great “investment” so to speak. Some people will never return favors, but will openly accept kindness (and even ask for it) from others. Sure, the idea behind social capital is that it’s not a requirement for someone to “pay you back,” but some people will take everything you can give and not even offer a “thank you.” Be careful about who you choose to help.
I personally have decided to adopt an “individualistic” approach to life. Yes, it’s hard at times, but doing things on your own makes you feel good and confers a lot of pride.
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Have you ever heard of bookcrossing.com? It’s the same idea as the book exchanges at the airports and harbors (maybe even the same program!) except each book gets its own tracking number and then you can go online and see where your book has been! We have a drop site at the library where I work, and it’s hugely popular! It’s such a great way to share within the community!
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One thing that you failed to mention is that, like wealth, social capital is in part something you are born with (or without). You talk about creating it by doing different things, but you also start with a certain amount based on various factors.
Some people also have an easier time of it than others. This is one reason why social stigma is so damaging. Emotionally, yes, and financially as well. If you are ostracised for your religion, your mental illness, your sexual preference, there’s nobody around to give you one of their tomato plants so you have to spend more on food, nobody to drive you to the hospital when you’re sick, so you get a big ambulance or cab bill, etc.
The importance of social capital is often overlooked. When they started shutting down the projects here in Chicago and moving people into apartments in different neighborhoods, they unwittingly broke up a lot of these networks and caused unintended harm.
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I flipping love this post. Actually the comments are even better. No doubt a result of the social capital JD has built with our little GRS community
Have a wonderful long weekend everyone! I am starting mine early.
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I think I’m closer to Luke’s situation than the opposite. I have family who love me and would do anything from me, but are far away, I have a great boyfriend, and I have roommates/friends, but it’s not a big social group – our friend group is 6 including myself and BF – and I don’t do much to keep it up.
But I’m fine with this. People say I shouldn’t be, but if I’m happy, I don’t see what’s wrong with it. Maybe it’s because I was raised in a family where you ALWAYS have family when you need it, but I just never felt the need to cultivate strong friendship ties.
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Great post, Thanks!
Having moved to a brand new city a year ago, I have started from scratch on re-building a web. Fortunately, my new city is extremely open and friendly, so it is a little bit easier. But I still need to work on it! So immediately after reading this blog post I emailed someone about a volunteer opportunity next weekend. Thanks for the kick in the pants!
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Great post JD! Having been in Alaska during the 70′s during the pipeline construction & into the 80′s all over the Southeast myself, I found many examples of what the lower 48 would call “Neighborness” – ie: neighbor helping neighbor. It’s a big part of life up there due to the isolation & limited resources that come from being in a small town miles from anywhere. As you saw, you can’t drive to another town in most parts. Boats and Planes are the way there. My favorite times was at the 16 mile club in Sitka, which I have no idea about at this point. Thanks for your travel log on your other site.. Really brought back memories!
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J.D, glad to see that you’re back safe and sound. Your video of the whales was awesome!
I love the idea of social capital, and until you brought it up it wasn’t really something that I considered as a commodity. I think this was an excellent post. I would attribute the extra generosity during your trip to diffusion of responsibility – see: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diffusion_of_responsibility
Basically it means that the fewer people that are there, the more each individual feels responsible for the collective whole. It seems that since the population in Alaska is small compared to that of a major city, the people there have a larger sense of social responsibility towards each other. I think this is wonderful, and I wish it could be more present everywhere.
I think that Becky put it excellently.
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